Can’t we all just use the same shampoo?
Is it just me or do I look like the dark-sided shadow version of Yolandi?
More like purple mountains atrophy and amber waves of hepatitis strain.
Nothing gayer than granola in the morning. Unless, of course, it evokes the images of lesbian mothers going at it in a breakfast nook.
This is what a post-apocalyptic CVS will look like.
$he’ll never forget this day, but I already have.
Excuse me, what aisle is the indifference in? I need it to be as vague as humanly possible.
On a day like today that resembles Seattle in April of 1993, I prefer sunshine in the form of LEGGGGSSSSSS!!! Don’t look too long, you WILL get burned. Try some SPF 69.
One time Jack McBrayer met me. What an awesome day for him.
C.R.E.A.M.
The best things in life are free, like the smile from a pretty girl. like STDs.
Actually, I might go so far as to say that nothing is free…especially the best things. I think about the feeling of just being in my mid-twenties, breathing in the crisp air straight off the lake that seems to crystallise in your lungs, and what it has cost me to be here right now and have the ability to appreciate it. That was not free. We pay for things with promises, we pay for them emotionally, learning cliche lessons in our pursuit for adulthood, we pay with our time. It’s interesting to me, this balance of time & money wherein lies just one of many keys to happiness ranging anywhere from molecular to unabridged.
One of my favorite things to do is spontaneously decide to see a movie in a theatre. Picking the right seat like a dog looking for a tree to piss on (11th row center…WOOF), the tacit unanimity that talking=bad, the flicker of the silver screen as the lights are lowered and the previews begin… previews that are universally intolerable in DVD form, but for some reason in an actual theatre they are prized bits of fleeting art. That experience is something Netflix will never supply me with, there is no comparison. Netflix is the girl you met at John Barleycorn’s just before bar close and a genuine movie theatre is the one you want to have children with. But even that will cost you a little bit of green, and when you’re employed it’s really no big deal. Twenty dollars is nothing; a cab ride home, a few beers, a 7 day CTA pass. It’s finding the time to relax, that’s the real cost.
On the flip-side, when you don’t have a job you have all the time in the world. So much time, in fact, that after the initial glee of not having to work wears off you’ll find the days of the week becoming inbred. There is no Monday. There is only Sathursnesday, and unless you have some stockpile of drug money (or regular money) set aside for your mental staycation, you’re going to rapidly (or rabidly)deplete whatever funds ever existed in the first place. That shit will be gone faster than a family-sized portion of Paneer Makhani that’s unfortunate enough to be placed in front of me on feeding day. (see: Sathursnesday)
When we have the time, the money is usually scarce. When the money is not in question, it’s because we’re working 6 days a week to make it so. How do we keep one foot on each side of the Libra scale to maintain a healthy bank account and a prosperous social life with ‘me-time’ to spare? (Epiphany!) I’m beginning to think it might have something to do with having more than one job and waking up before noon, running on little to no sleep.
Money is only important because it’s instrumental to getting the things we want, it isn’t what we actually want. It isn’t stacks of cash that kiss your shoulders when you’re sleeping and it definitely isn’t a paycheck that can hold you and make you feel like you’re falling. That’s real life and real love, and no salary on Earth will ever be able to buy that feeling.
A wise man I know once said, “Once you’ve kicked the bucket, it’s not how much you’ve earned or how much you’ve spent.”. Or something like that, either way that man has it figured out. Big time. Basically, Elia Einhorn is my hero.
That makes China & I the same age… Man, they are waaaaay ahead of me. I just started doing my own dishes this year.
Go to college. All of you.
This Dentist’s office is clearly a front for Aryan Ex-Gays.
Semper WiFi
What the hell would my generation do without the Internet?
Was there really a time when people went to coffee shops just for the coffee? I have found no concrete evidence to support this theory, thus it remains a myth. Like the Bible. Technology is the lifeblood of people 15-40, and (let’s face it) there’s no going back. Dave Chappelle once said, “You can’t get unfamous. You can become infamous, but you can’t become unfamous.” I’d like to apply this thought process to the rapidly snowballing advancement of inter-global connectedness.
There is no going back. Since before the dawn of Y2K, we have crossed the Rubicon…tasted the Forbidden Fruit of Steve Job’s Apple…seen the LED light, if you will. It would take an Ice Age (or Fire Age) to literally wipe us clean and force us to start over from our Cro-Magnon Man beginnings. It does, however, sound almost comforting to think that one day we, as a people, would become so evolved that we’d front-flip full-circle into a simpler time. But, honestly, there’s nothing sexy about the Amish or anything Amish-esque. I would know, I take Amtrak all the time. Prove me wrong, please.
We’ve become so accustomed to instant gratification in the last decade that waiting a full minute for anything at all, not even machines necessarily, is physically painful for us. I can personally attest to this based on my history as a Server. Humans are seemingly much more at ease interacting with circuitry than their own kind. (As I write this, there is a woman milling about within 5 ft of me looking for a magazine at this cafe…and it’s FREAKING ME OUT!) Case in point.
Pretty sure OWS would have been exponentially more successful had it been just a Facebook page that people needed to ‘Like’. It’s sad, but we’re stuck in an iPit of digital quicksand. Don’t get me wrong, being able to go online and find any piece of information I want, ranging from Shakira’s height to how to play ANYTHING on guitar, is really fucking cool. I just wish people would chill the fuck out, be nicer and read a goddamn book once in a while.
Kindle doesn’t count.
